The near future - Stallone is Ray Breslin, a filthy-rich prison-escapee-for-hire. He
likes to test out the high-security prisons that he’s designed by
attempting to break out of them.
For the past 8 years he has been breaking out of prisons on behalf of
the Federal Bureau of Corrections, to test how impenetrable and what
flaws might exist in the respective penitential. Man is an absolute
genius – smart as an internet entrepreneur and as tough as the bodyguard
hired to protect such a mastermind.
When the film opens – much to the chagrin of the grizzled old warden who
watches in dismay as one of his prisoners destroys cars and architecture
as he makes his way out of the prison.
That one, of course, was intended to be Ray’s last (the Bureau, namely
Breslin’s main contact ‘Clark’, is a little disappointed to hear that).
Breslin’s company is based out of a sleek, metal high-rise that
houses an office that screams ‘brain!’ what with the complex cubes and
various nerd puzzles adoring the shelves and the big guy’s desk. This
man can seemingly work his way out of any puzzle, let alone penal
complex.
He and loyal colleague Abigail (nice plum female lead role), a
twenty-something pretty blonde with brains as well as bodacious looks,
have been asked to do another job. Though reluctant and despite
Abigail’s discouragement, Breslin – and his $10m price tag – caves in.
The Bureau – namely, old friend ‘Clark’ – advise Breslin that he
won’t know anything about the next location they want him to break out
of. Though said to be a military establishment, the prison-cracker won’t
know any of the where’s or what’s.
Breslin ends up in ‘The Tomb’ – Guantanamo Bay 2.0, a private
facility that’ll open its doors – and quickly shut them – to whoever can
pay. It’s owned by a man named Hobbes.
On the inside, Breslin befriends a cheeky, muscular ex-military man by
the name of Swan (Schwarzenegger). Swan explains to his new friend that
all the prisoners have been sent to this particular establishment
because they’re all enemies of the state. They’ll remain in ‘The Tomb’
for interrogation and until the state decides what to do with them.
Meantime, Swan advises his new friend to watch his ass – and try not get
killed, because dead bodies lead to the cancellation of prison social
nights (classic Arnie!).
Prison Warden Hobbes (Jim Caviezel) and his main guard Drake are your typical ice-cold
’80s movie villains – hating on the ‘scum’ they have to cage. Oh, and
Drake is said to be ‘Australian’ – think Vernon Wells!
In order to get out – and help a few new friends, like Swan, escape
too – of the floating prison, Breslin has to arm himself with the one
thing that might just save his ass : His brain. In several sequences, we
get a “mind’s eye view” of Breslin working out the inner structure of
the prison – how the rooms are connected, what each room is wired or
built of, what machines and systems function in them; it’s a visual
schematic if you will.
I don’t want to tell you how it all turns out – though I guess any
fan of Sly and Arnie’s knows exactly where and how this thing ends,
right? What I will say is that this is the real deal. This is the combo
package of the great Sly and Arnie classics of years gone by – imagine
‘Ray Tango’ and ‘Dutch Schaefer’ teaming up (in fact, I wouldn’t be at
all surprised if Schwarzenegger’s character was inspired or rewritten to
be closer in character to his “Predator” hero) to take out the trash,
complete with the kind of verbal and tangible arsenal those guys became
famous for.
Stallone’s character is very decent, but Schwarzenegger’ Swan is the
first ‘real Schwarzenegger’ character we’ve seen in a long time – smart
quips, the ability to knock-out cold anyone with just a thrust of his
monstrous elbow, and armed with a monstrous gun… this is Dutch Schaefer,
prisoner. You’re gonna love it, guys.
“The Tomb” is, excuse my French, the mother fuckin’ Arnold/Sly
two-hander we’ve been waiting for. It’s not just a balls-to-the-wall
action extravaganza, but it’s a smart one – it’s smartly written with
fun characters, and a nifty mostly-original plot, but it’s also been
doused in the kind of old school popcorn ’80s actioner tone that “Tango
& Cash”, “Red Heat” and “Lock-Up” – to use a few Stallone examples –
causing a surge in protein powder sales.
Can’t wait to get a peek of Barry Chusid’s production designs, namely the floating prison – should look a treat.
